Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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