his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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