Just took my morning after pill in the library
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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