what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
