Duck Duck Cougar?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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