worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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