***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
In America we eat man semen.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
