This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
