you win again, gameday.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Sext me about skeletons
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
