My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
