Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
