Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
