Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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