So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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