Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
