I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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