im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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