i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
