porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
