She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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