Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
