Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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