so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
