Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize