Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
