There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I am mentally ready for anal.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
