PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
