I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Text me some of your sweat
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
