Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?

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(602): View more from Arizona

you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!

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(231): View more from Michigan

Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.

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(281): View more from Texas

Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him

(1-281): View more from Texas

college has opened so many doors for you

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(916): View more from California

she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?

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(360): View more from Washington

i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar

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(765): View more from Indiana

I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you

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