i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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