but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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