With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
