sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We had sex on a dog bed..
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
