She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
