Im at strip club and am horny
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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