That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
