508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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