I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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