YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
