Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
