Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
