You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize