I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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