I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize