i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize