handjob tips. give me some.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
