Your mouth is God's brothel.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
