if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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