better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
