Can Purell be used as lube?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
