Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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