Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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