If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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