he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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