I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
