I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
