HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
