I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
