I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
